Perception… It changed everything.
The brightness of my laptop burned my eyes; I felt like disposing the laptop screen with a hammer. He died. The only words stuck in my head. The words which brought me to this real world, changed my perception about everything.
The news broke to me on Sunday, September 8th, 2012. I was on Facebook, as usual, checking my news feed. The world was spinning at its normal pace. The aroma of my chicken roll delighted my mood. I opened my big moth to take a bite but stopped dead on the way. I stopped against my will; the thing which grabbed my hand, my attention was this sole Facebook status: ‘Zain Died R.I.P”.I swore. I rushed my pointer towards the blue highlighted name and clicked on it; nightmare became reality. Zain was dead. His whole wall was blanketed with statuses regarding hi death. I felt as if my heart would stop beating right away; with every moment passing my breath got heavier and heavier; my eyes, sparkly with tears, body numb with fear and pain. Isolated. I was isolated, dumbstruck. Moments later my phone rang, the sharp tone of the phone didn’t break my paralysis. I blinked twice and reached for the phone. I knew what was coming next. “Zain died” sobbed Basit. My brain stopped working, now it was in agony.”Hello? Usman? You there?” I was going nuts. I didn’t answer. I hung up.
Two hours had passed and I was still crying; my pillow wet form my tears, face buried. I was glad tears had no colors. Everything was different now. I was still not accepting the fact that he was dead. This was maybe because my mind was constantly putting me in his place and I cannot imagine myself dead. What if I would’ve died , what would’ve happened to my dreams, family, friends and everything I held so dear? The pain returned. I got up. With a spinning head, I wobbled downstairs to turn on the T.V. To get my mind distracted I tried concentrating on the football game but Zain’s image was stuck in my head. I sat there for a long time. Loneliness took over me. My heart sank.
Zain’s death taught me a lot of things. It was for the first tme I ever felt that I have lost something close to me. I realized how it felt when something close to you is snatched away against your will. Zain’s death rought me to the face of reality. My perception about everything changed. I experienced Paradigm shift. After his death I began to look at things differently, not only from my point of view but from other people’s point of view as well. I realized that world didn’t spin around you. If you die the world wont stop working. Time won’t stop for you. Zain’s death drove me to a little island where everybody cared for each other, where you valued other people’s morals, where you think about others before thinking about yourself. A place where there was peace and logic. I started taking responsibility for everything I did instead of blaming others. I realized there were consequence for everything you did.Life is short. You have no control over it . I learned that you have to keep people you love happy because you don’t know when they’ll leave this world. I learned to be selfless and more determined than ever. Zain’s death taught me things which I never would have learned otherwise. There is a moment in everybody’s life which changes him/her from a child to an adult. This was my moment.
The brightness of my laptop burned my eyes; I felt like disposing the laptop screen with a hammer. He died. The only words stuck in my head. The words which brought me to this real world, changed my perception about everything.
The news broke to me on Sunday, September 8th, 2012. I was on Facebook, as usual, checking my news feed. The world was spinning at its normal pace. The aroma of my chicken roll delighted my mood. I opened my big moth to take a bite but stopped dead on the way. I stopped against my will; the thing which grabbed my hand, my attention was this sole Facebook status: ‘Zain Died R.I.P”.I swore. I rushed my pointer towards the blue highlighted name and clicked on it; nightmare became reality. Zain was dead. His whole wall was blanketed with statuses regarding hi death. I felt as if my heart would stop beating right away; with every moment passing my breath got heavier and heavier; my eyes, sparkly with tears, body numb with fear and pain. Isolated. I was isolated, dumbstruck. Moments later my phone rang, the sharp tone of the phone didn’t break my paralysis. I blinked twice and reached for the phone. I knew what was coming next. “Zain died” sobbed Basit. My brain stopped working, now it was in agony.”Hello? Usman? You there?” I was going nuts. I didn’t answer. I hung up.
Two hours had passed and I was still crying; my pillow wet form my tears, face buried. I was glad tears had no colors. Everything was different now. I was still not accepting the fact that he was dead. This was maybe because my mind was constantly putting me in his place and I cannot imagine myself dead. What if I would’ve died , what would’ve happened to my dreams, family, friends and everything I held so dear? The pain returned. I got up. With a spinning head, I wobbled downstairs to turn on the T.V. To get my mind distracted I tried concentrating on the football game but Zain’s image was stuck in my head. I sat there for a long time. Loneliness took over me. My heart sank.
Zain’s death taught me a lot of things. It was for the first tme I ever felt that I have lost something close to me. I realized how it felt when something close to you is snatched away against your will. Zain’s death rought me to the face of reality. My perception about everything changed. I experienced Paradigm shift. After his death I began to look at things differently, not only from my point of view but from other people’s point of view as well. I realized that world didn’t spin around you. If you die the world wont stop working. Time won’t stop for you. Zain’s death drove me to a little island where everybody cared for each other, where you valued other people’s morals, where you think about others before thinking about yourself. A place where there was peace and logic. I started taking responsibility for everything I did instead of blaming others. I realized there were consequence for everything you did.Life is short. You have no control over it . I learned that you have to keep people you love happy because you don’t know when they’ll leave this world. I learned to be selfless and more determined than ever. Zain’s death taught me things which I never would have learned otherwise. There is a moment in everybody’s life which changes him/her from a child to an adult. This was my moment.
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